The teenage years. Ages 13 through 17. No longer a child, not yet an adult. A roller-coaster of emotions and a tornado of rushed feelings.
They say that teenagers don't know what love is; but they do. It is love, just a different kind of love than the love that adults share. But should that love change? The butterflies in your stomach, the constant thoughts of that one special person. The way you can barely contain how much you care for that one person. How much you want to be with them; what you'd give to know that they love you back. That is the love of teenagers.
But sometimes things can go too far. Teenage pregnancy? Premarital sex? It's wrong. No questions. That's not love; that's insecurity, looking for someone to 'love'. But when we hit adulthood, what happens to the thrill of love? The overwhelming care you have for someone, the butterflies, the willingness to share your love. Is it still there, or does it fade? Why?
If we all loved like children and teenagers, it would last longer. Maybe forever, if we were to live that long. The thrill of it never fades, as long as you remain in the arms of that person. The thundering heartbeats going 100 miles an hour, the butterflies in your stomach, batting their wings and tickling your insides. The dreams and thoughts of them, the longing to be with them.
The Lord says that the faith of a child is strongest. So have the faith of a child in love, and all will be ok, right? We will never know for sure, because love fades. It seems to disappear if not kept alive. Candlelight dinners and romantic music, love languages and roses. Family trips and bonding. Is it enough to keep the love of adults alive? If we all loved like teenagers, we wouldn't have to worry. Young love can survive through anything.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Rain
Rain, rain, rain. Why is rain the symbol of sadness? It really shouldn't be. People say that raindrops are the tears of Angels or snows from Hell. What are raindrops?
The rain brings life to the world around us; so how is it that we consider it a bad omen? It keeps the plants alive, the grass green, the earth wet with puddles that all the children love to splash and play in.
One of my favorite quotes is one I found on the internet a while ago. I'm not sure who said it, but whoever did was wise. He said, "Whoever loves the sun has never danced in the rain."
Have you ever danced in the rain? There's a simplicity to it, yet a complication unknown to anyone. No one can explain the joys of feeling the wet raindrops fall on your face, or the wind comb through your wet hair. The puddles beneath your feet keep you cool, and the clouds overhead bring a fresh breeze. The damp ground creates a fresh, earthy aroma. It smells of new rains and pine and grass and leaves; all the smells of a forest, intensified. The sweet smell is one that cannot be replaced by anything else.
So have you ever danced in the rain? Do you dare to try? To risk getting wet? To step out of your comfort zone and into a new world? Dancing in the rain isn't just an activity; it's allowing yourself to join a new world where you become closer to the earth. It's natural, the way we as people love to dance, and the rain falling on our faces and pattering on the ground is the best rhythm the earth can offer.
So through all this rain, will you mourn over the sun's disappearance, or you will go out and dance? If you need me, I'll be dancing.
The rain brings life to the world around us; so how is it that we consider it a bad omen? It keeps the plants alive, the grass green, the earth wet with puddles that all the children love to splash and play in.
One of my favorite quotes is one I found on the internet a while ago. I'm not sure who said it, but whoever did was wise. He said, "Whoever loves the sun has never danced in the rain."
Have you ever danced in the rain? There's a simplicity to it, yet a complication unknown to anyone. No one can explain the joys of feeling the wet raindrops fall on your face, or the wind comb through your wet hair. The puddles beneath your feet keep you cool, and the clouds overhead bring a fresh breeze. The damp ground creates a fresh, earthy aroma. It smells of new rains and pine and grass and leaves; all the smells of a forest, intensified. The sweet smell is one that cannot be replaced by anything else.
So have you ever danced in the rain? Do you dare to try? To risk getting wet? To step out of your comfort zone and into a new world? Dancing in the rain isn't just an activity; it's allowing yourself to join a new world where you become closer to the earth. It's natural, the way we as people love to dance, and the rain falling on our faces and pattering on the ground is the best rhythm the earth can offer.
So through all this rain, will you mourn over the sun's disappearance, or you will go out and dance? If you need me, I'll be dancing.
~Nina <3
Sunday, May 24, 2009
What Love Really Is
There's no specific reason for this blog. I just felt the need to write something. I'm so excited I get to go to Junior High Challenge! And what's better, our new youth intern is coming! Lately I've been very into my music. I listen to it all the time, and every time I do I feel so... great. Something about it just seems to free me. It's like an escape from our world, into a new world of music where there's no pain. Only happiness and joy. I can't explain it. I feel as if chains have been lifted off of me, a weight gone from my shoulders. It's a freedom I cling to.
I'm working on my 1 person. I'm trying to get my friend Anthony to come to church. He's been a great friend to me in the past, and it's time for me to return the favor and bring him closer to God. I'm also working on my friend Shelby, who is a Buddhist. Her family really has no religion, and she's found a happiness in Buddhism.
I've decided to read my bible. My entire bible. This will be the first time, and I based my decision on Andrew's sermon in the "Why" series. I'm planning on finishing it before School starts up again in August.
Hayden is getting bigger already. She's so precious and beautiful; her gorgeous blue eyes against her soft skin makes her look like an angel. In my opinion, she IS an angel. She was our little gift from heaven. First God sent us Abigail, and now he's sent us Hayden. Our family is growing and we praise God for it. Abigail has been such a good big sister to Hayden. She's been such a good girl. I can't wait for her to come back to Grandma's house to spend the night with us again.
It's amazing how people think they know you. I ind it amusing how people at my school talk about me, as if they know every detail of my life. When they confront me about something that's maybe untrue or rude, I simply smile and walk away. I find it hard not to laugh. Most people may be torn to shreds if they had even half of the things said about me pointed toward them. I only think it's amusing. They don't know who I am, and they won't be lucky enough to ever know who I am if they keep thinking that way.
My friends are always there for me when I need them. Waverly is there to cry with me. Shelby is there to talk me through it. Anthony is there to hug me when I need it. And Beka? Beka is there no matter what. She's there to love me and forgive me for everything I do wrong. She sees through my fake smile when something's wrong. She always knows what I'm thinking and feeling. She always knows when I need her, and she's always there.
God's greatest gift to me was Beka. Sometimes I treat her cruelly, but she forgives me every time. I can be so bossy and mean and cruel, but she always sticks around, because she knows that those are the times I need her most. I never had a real friend until God gave me Beka, and I'll never have a friend as great as her as long as I live. She means the world to me. She was there when I lost my first tooth. She was there when my hamster, mouse, bird, and other mouse died. She was there when I had to give my guinea pig away. She was there when I first cut myself. (one of the stupidest decisions of my life). She was there to tell me how tupid and selfish I was being when I kept talking about suicide, even though we both knew I'd never even try it. She was there when I had to go to counseling, and she was there when I got better. She was there when I decided that she was right; there was no point in hurting myself to feel better. All I needed was God and I'd be ok. God would always be there for me; and so would she. She was there with me through everything, and she always will be there for me. She was and is God's greatest gift to me, and I love her more than anything.
I'm working on my 1 person. I'm trying to get my friend Anthony to come to church. He's been a great friend to me in the past, and it's time for me to return the favor and bring him closer to God. I'm also working on my friend Shelby, who is a Buddhist. Her family really has no religion, and she's found a happiness in Buddhism.
I've decided to read my bible. My entire bible. This will be the first time, and I based my decision on Andrew's sermon in the "Why" series. I'm planning on finishing it before School starts up again in August.
Hayden is getting bigger already. She's so precious and beautiful; her gorgeous blue eyes against her soft skin makes her look like an angel. In my opinion, she IS an angel. She was our little gift from heaven. First God sent us Abigail, and now he's sent us Hayden. Our family is growing and we praise God for it. Abigail has been such a good big sister to Hayden. She's been such a good girl. I can't wait for her to come back to Grandma's house to spend the night with us again.
It's amazing how people think they know you. I ind it amusing how people at my school talk about me, as if they know every detail of my life. When they confront me about something that's maybe untrue or rude, I simply smile and walk away. I find it hard not to laugh. Most people may be torn to shreds if they had even half of the things said about me pointed toward them. I only think it's amusing. They don't know who I am, and they won't be lucky enough to ever know who I am if they keep thinking that way.
My friends are always there for me when I need them. Waverly is there to cry with me. Shelby is there to talk me through it. Anthony is there to hug me when I need it. And Beka? Beka is there no matter what. She's there to love me and forgive me for everything I do wrong. She sees through my fake smile when something's wrong. She always knows what I'm thinking and feeling. She always knows when I need her, and she's always there.
God's greatest gift to me was Beka. Sometimes I treat her cruelly, but she forgives me every time. I can be so bossy and mean and cruel, but she always sticks around, because she knows that those are the times I need her most. I never had a real friend until God gave me Beka, and I'll never have a friend as great as her as long as I live. She means the world to me. She was there when I lost my first tooth. She was there when my hamster, mouse, bird, and other mouse died. She was there when I had to give my guinea pig away. She was there when I first cut myself. (one of the stupidest decisions of my life). She was there to tell me how tupid and selfish I was being when I kept talking about suicide, even though we both knew I'd never even try it. She was there when I had to go to counseling, and she was there when I got better. She was there when I decided that she was right; there was no point in hurting myself to feel better. All I needed was God and I'd be ok. God would always be there for me; and so would she. She was there with me through everything, and she always will be there for me. She was and is God's greatest gift to me, and I love her more than anything.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
The Beauty Of Life
Monday, February 23rd of 2009, my new niece was born. Her name is Hayden Elizabeth, and she is beautiful. For the first time, I was in the delivery room as a baby was born. People continue to ask me, "What did you think?" But there were no thoughts. Only the trick of the mind where you think you must be in a dream to expreience something so spectacular, but you're not. It's just the beauty of new life, coming into the world.
What is it that makes something so natural have such beauty? I may never understand. There were no thoughts. Only the rush of feeling. The racing of the heart, the butterflies in the stomach, the simple feeling of overwhelming excitement that consumes you.
I was experiencing all of that, but yet it was so much more. So much that I couldn't possibly put into words. I can't even begin to explain what I felt once she was born, lying there on the table, so innocent, so precious. She is God's gift to the world. Yet, a close friend told me that we should be sad when a child is born into this cruel, bloody world, and happy when someone passes away and enters the eternal greatness of heaven.
But I am overjoyed that she is here. I can hold her in my arms. I can sing softly into her ear, keep her close, tell her I love her. She is more special than she will ever know. She is precious and delicate and the most amazing thing I could ever have even imagined.
I will never forget how incredible it was to watch her be born. New life entering the word is simply amazing, yet more complicated the even the wisest of men can understand. No words can describe it.
And people continue to ask me, "What did you think?" but all I answer is, "There are no thoughts. Only incredible, indescribable feelings."
What is it that makes something so natural have such beauty? I may never understand. There were no thoughts. Only the rush of feeling. The racing of the heart, the butterflies in the stomach, the simple feeling of overwhelming excitement that consumes you.
I was experiencing all of that, but yet it was so much more. So much that I couldn't possibly put into words. I can't even begin to explain what I felt once she was born, lying there on the table, so innocent, so precious. She is God's gift to the world. Yet, a close friend told me that we should be sad when a child is born into this cruel, bloody world, and happy when someone passes away and enters the eternal greatness of heaven.
But I am overjoyed that she is here. I can hold her in my arms. I can sing softly into her ear, keep her close, tell her I love her. She is more special than she will ever know. She is precious and delicate and the most amazing thing I could ever have even imagined.
I will never forget how incredible it was to watch her be born. New life entering the word is simply amazing, yet more complicated the even the wisest of men can understand. No words can describe it.
And people continue to ask me, "What did you think?" but all I answer is, "There are no thoughts. Only incredible, indescribable feelings."
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Light in the Storm
Even in the worst storms of life, there is a light. A person that can help you through anything, right? I know, I know, I sound ridiculous. But it's true. If you read my previous blog, you might understand the kind of train-wreck I'm in. But I have my little light.
You see, my light has helped me through thick and thin in the past few weeks. I can tell him anything. Every time he sees me he opens his arms, knowing I'll need a hug. He's kind and understanding and fun all at once. He is what keeps me going through life.
He was there for me when my storm hit. But he was my sun shining through the thick black clouds, hovering over me, destroying me, but he helped me up and sturdied me, even under the weight of the storm.
I won't mention who my light is, for his sake. I consider him my best friend, whether he thinks of me that way or not. I know he can help me through anything, and I know he will. I trust him with everything I've got, even my life. I maybe depend on him for too much, but he's too loyal to say anything if I am.
I would lay down my life for my friends, and he is one of them. Of my few true friends, I can definitely say that he is one. I can and do tell him everything, my darkest secrets, my unique stories, my dreams, my fairytales.
He is everything to me. So, who is the light of your storm?
You see, my light has helped me through thick and thin in the past few weeks. I can tell him anything. Every time he sees me he opens his arms, knowing I'll need a hug. He's kind and understanding and fun all at once. He is what keeps me going through life.
He was there for me when my storm hit. But he was my sun shining through the thick black clouds, hovering over me, destroying me, but he helped me up and sturdied me, even under the weight of the storm.
I won't mention who my light is, for his sake. I consider him my best friend, whether he thinks of me that way or not. I know he can help me through anything, and I know he will. I trust him with everything I've got, even my life. I maybe depend on him for too much, but he's too loyal to say anything if I am.
I would lay down my life for my friends, and he is one of them. Of my few true friends, I can definitely say that he is one. I can and do tell him everything, my darkest secrets, my unique stories, my dreams, my fairytales.
He is everything to me. So, who is the light of your storm?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I don't understand. How is it that someone can tell you they love you, then rip your heart out the next day? How can someone break your heart, and you still love them? How is it that at one point in time, you think you love someone, and then you find out that you don't? These are the questions that run through my head. But what are the answers?
I may be young, and some say we don't know what love is yet, but I don't know. I think I do know what love is. I think I've felt it. I think I do feel it. It's unexplainable, the fluttering of the heart, the butterflies in your stomach, the continual thoughts of that one person. But when it's all over, what do you do next?
If you're like me, all you can do is cry for a while. You become depressed. Some may become suicidal. I cried myself to sleep two nights in a row, wishing I was dead all the while. I had a boyfriend. His name I will not mention. But one Tuesday he broke up with me. I cried for hours. It was through a text message. I wasn't angry, and I definitely wasn't happy. I was hurt. More than anything I wanted it to be a prank of some sort, a joke. But it never turned out that way.
But what if you still love the person who broke your heart? Almost every thought that goes through my head has something to do with him. I can't ever get him out of my head. He is all I ever think about, the only person I ever want to talk to. He does still talk to me, but only as a friend, which hurts worse than the break-up itself, but talking to him s worth it all.
And lastly, what do you do when every song you ever hear reminds you of that special someone? It always hurts, bringing back that raw memory. What can I do? Nearly every song that play on any radio station, any CD, any record is about love or relationships. It's so hard to forget. But what if you don't want to forget? What if you don't want to move on like people tell you to? What if you can't?
I usually look to my writing for comfort, but in times like this, all that I can ever come up with is depressing poems and heart-wrenching love stories. All I can do is get lost in my music and spend my time blogging or writing down my thoughts. It helps a little, but I don't know how long it will take for the pain to go away, if it ever does.
I may be young, and some say we don't know what love is yet, but I don't know. I think I do know what love is. I think I've felt it. I think I do feel it. It's unexplainable, the fluttering of the heart, the butterflies in your stomach, the continual thoughts of that one person. But when it's all over, what do you do next?
If you're like me, all you can do is cry for a while. You become depressed. Some may become suicidal. I cried myself to sleep two nights in a row, wishing I was dead all the while. I had a boyfriend. His name I will not mention. But one Tuesday he broke up with me. I cried for hours. It was through a text message. I wasn't angry, and I definitely wasn't happy. I was hurt. More than anything I wanted it to be a prank of some sort, a joke. But it never turned out that way.
But what if you still love the person who broke your heart? Almost every thought that goes through my head has something to do with him. I can't ever get him out of my head. He is all I ever think about, the only person I ever want to talk to. He does still talk to me, but only as a friend, which hurts worse than the break-up itself, but talking to him s worth it all.
And lastly, what do you do when every song you ever hear reminds you of that special someone? It always hurts, bringing back that raw memory. What can I do? Nearly every song that play on any radio station, any CD, any record is about love or relationships. It's so hard to forget. But what if you don't want to forget? What if you don't want to move on like people tell you to? What if you can't?
I usually look to my writing for comfort, but in times like this, all that I can ever come up with is depressing poems and heart-wrenching love stories. All I can do is get lost in my music and spend my time blogging or writing down my thoughts. It helps a little, but I don't know how long it will take for the pain to go away, if it ever does.
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