R.I.P

Ok, so have you ever lost anyone? Someone special to you? A friend, a relative? Let me tell you, it sucks. And this past summer, I lost a friend. His name was Seth Carnahan...

Seth and I had been friends since we met in kindergarten. We were in nearly every class together every year all the way through fifth grade. Then in middle school we had fewer classes together, but were still friends. In 6th grade, we had gym together for 9 weeks an I must admit, those are my favorite memories of him. Playing basketball and soccer and football and other sports with him.

7th grade, in the middle of the year, he went to live with his dad in Anderson County. He went to a new school, joined a new football team, and became their star player. Seth was the kind of guy everyone wanted around; fun, sporty, smart, happy, and all-around just amazing. Those who knew him, loved him. And those who didn't love him never got the chance to know him. Seth loved everyone. He encircled those who were cast out by others with his unique friendship. He took care of them and befriended them.

And Seth was always smiling. His smile is one I could never forget. Something about i made you smile right back. You just couldn't help it. Seth radiated happiness and was care-free. He was a good kid, a bright student, and a great friend. No. He wasn't all of those things. He is all of those things. And he always will be.

But that summer, the summer of 2009, Seth came back. He came back to visit his friends and his mom and step-dad. He was 13 years old. It was late in the summer time, almost time for school. It was his 8th grade year. But August 1st, 2009, Seth drowned.

Him and his best friend, Caleb, were walking on the dam in Elkhorn Creek. The creek is 99 miles, one mile away from being a river. The creek was majorly flooded that day, due to lots of rain that week. But there they were on the dam, despite the high water level. Caleb dared Seth to jump in. Then and there, an impulsive decision is what cost him his life. Seth said he would jump in if Caleb did, and so they both jumped into the flooded water. Only Caleb made it out.

My dad, the preacher of the church Seth's mom and step-dad attended, had about 10 more minutes until he had to go on stage and preach. It was a late Saturday afternoon, and church was about to start. The police came in, and told him a teenage boy was missing and thought to have drowned. He left the church with the police and headed to the creek.

The search for Seth took 3 days. 3 days for his parents to agonize over whether or not he was dead or still out there, wandering around lost. 3 days for all of his friends to hope and pray and cry over him. And 3 days for them to find his dead body at the bottom of Elkhorn Creek.

The funeral was the worst. It was open-casket. All of his sandy brown hair had been cut off, his beautiful eyes sealed shut, an his face swollen and covered in thick makeup. It wasn't him. It wasn't Seth. It couldn't be. It was the first time I'd ever seen him look sad; and he looked broken. All the makeup made him look fake, like a doll that had been poorly made. Long sleeves covered his arms, but I knew they were cut up and cruised and shriveled like his hands looked.

Sad music played and the preacher droned on and on. But it just didn't seem real. That couldn't be Seth up there. This kind of thing just didn't happen. Especially not to people like Seth. I'd known him since I was 5 years old. I was 13 when he died. The same age as him. 8 years I'd known him. But none of this was real. Part of me still wanted so badly to believe that Seth, my Seth, was still out there, waiting to be rescued...

But it didn't happen that way. And as soon as reality found a way into my mind, my heart was broken. I cried myself to sleep many nights in a row, and I woke myself up sobbing after dreaming of him. I knew he was gone. And that reality was too painful.

Seth Andrew Carnahan: Nov. 1, 1995 - Aug. 1, 2009. Rest in Peace.